I've been watching cartoons a DAMN long time... As such, my evil genius
tends to piece together patterns much the same as staring at those grey
dots brings out the sailboat. That said, I have devised several theorem
based on my observations of cartoons, one of which you are reading (duh).
That said, one of the things I noticed is what I call the Green Theory
(like it says up there in the title), which is as follows:
In cartoons, the most interesting character on any given show is
either green, or usually (if not always) dressed in green.
This goes back pretty far, and has few exceptions. For the most part,
all cartoons have a character in green (likely so the younger kids could still
tell one from another), and more often than not said character is the
most intriguing character of said series. Some people may not agree, of
course, but that's why I went and got all this objective evidence to argue
my case... Heh. Let's start, keeping in mind that they're in no particular
order:
Flintstones
(The Great Gazoo)
Now, personally, I have nothing against Harvey Korman (who did the
voice of this character). He was just IMMENSELY annoying and signalled
te death throes of the franchise. But under closer scrutiny, Gazoo was
an INTRIGUING character, even moreso than any of the main characters...
Consider: This little green critter could manipulate REALITY as he chose,
and this godlike power was more or less at the command of 'dumb-dumbs'.
This further is seen (at least by me) as Hanna-Barbera's tongue-in-cheek
nod to the theories that prehistoric man was aided in its evolution by
aliens, a theory many archaelogists have bandied about recently as well.
Scooby-Doo
(Shaggy)
Most people hate this guy, and I'm no different, but think about it...
First, he taught a DOG how to TALK. In his own way, he's as brilliant as
Velma. He is the mechanic/engineer of the group, setting up the traps,
working on the Mystery Machine, and coming up with intricate disguises
for himself AND Scooby in the time it takes for the badguy to get to and
open the door. Add in the fact that he could eat his own weight at a single
sitting? Fred and the rest were two-dimensional compared to the exceptionally
well-rounded character that is Shaggy.
Moreover, despite all his whinging, he (and the dog) were always the 'bait'
for whatever traps were devised. This usually involved putting himself in the thick
of things, while Fred (the 'brave' one) stood aloof to hit the switch.
Josie and the Pussycats
(Valerie)
A brilliant person in general, poor Val was constantly relegated to
the background. No romantic interests. Hardly any character development.
They never gave Val the limelight, but a savvy viewer could see she was
the glue that held the band together, if not the de facto leader - as evidenced
by everyone deferring to Val's suggestion regarding what to do next. Not
bad for the only black primary character on a cartoon since...... Hey, she may
have been the FIRST, if you don't count Daffy Duck, the Jemima that worked
in the house with Tom and Jerry (just TRY to find those on the air these
days, but I digress), or that Steppin Fetchit that chased Bigs Bunny that
one time (this either). Talk about blazing the trail, eh? On the official
website, it says she plays the bass and keyboards (though all WE ever saw
her use was a tambourine), as well as writes all the songs. So, it seems
she had most of the TALENT on the show, too. If you count her keen scientific
brain and no-nonsense attitude, Val was the (pardon the pun) cat's meow.
Granted, aside from Alan, just about EVERY character wore green on that
show - presumably to hammer home they were cats, who usually have green
eyes. However, it was between Val and Melodi for wearing it the most, and
by my count Val went ahead when you considered her suit was green when
they went to Outer Space. She was also the navigator and co-pilot, by the
way...
Strangely enough, the next generation's black member of the band (Shana
the Hologram) was the complete opposite. No confidence, terrible 'football'
haircut that held the record for worst cartoon hairstyle until Marge Simpson
came along, made the clothes (which they didn't even really NEED, considering
the Synergy Machine could cover costuming), and was pretty much a whinging
milquetoast that Val would slap silly on sight for 'setting them back'.
Space Ghost/Space Ghost Coast-to-Coast
(Zorak)
Of ALL the villains Space Ghost battled, Zorak was the WEAKEST - possessing
no super powers besides being EXTRA mean compared to the rest of the evil
mantis race. And yet, Zorak was the one behind the majority of Space Ghost's
troubles. This weakling was the FIRST one in line to screw with Space Ghost,
EVERY time. Further, Zorak tended to come the closest of all the baddies
to wiping Space Ghost out. As such a consternation, Space Ghost had no
choice but to make Zorak the bandleader of the Original Way-Outs (SGC2C's
house band) in order to keep a constant eye on him. In return, Zorak takes
every opportunity to heckle Space Ghost and generally make 'Tad' (Space
Ghost's real first name) look even MORE like a schmuck than he is able
to do alone.
Powerpuff Girls
(Buttercup)
While she has yet to exhibit any 'special' powers - such as Bubbles'
ability to communicate with animals, or Blossom's Ice/Fire Breath, Buttercup's
level of power with their 'common' powers is much higher than that of her
sisters. She's the strongest, fastest, and toughest of the trio, many times
bashing the monster by herself while her sisters stand by. But what makes
her intriguing? Easy. She's MEAN. As cute as a button, and downright NASTY.
Such a dichotomy! Yet beneath that hiney-whoopin' exterior lurks a romantic
soul, as evidenced by Buttercup being the only one to have a love-interest
(she had a crush on Ace of the Gang Green Gang). She and her sister Bubbles
tend to be neck and neck for the favorite of the trio, and Buttercup tends
to edge her sisters out among the fans.
Bishojou Senshi Seira Muun
(Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon)
(Kino Makoto - aka Lita)
I'll probably get into a few fights on this one, but consider the evidence...
Here you have a big, strong, kung fu apocalypse monster - that's also Suzy
Homemaker? What the-? Of all the senshi - inner or outer - Makochan is
the tallest, the strongest, and bravest - in one episode actually refusing
help from the rest of the team in a battle with a monster. This character
simultaneously provides the most FEMININE of the bunch, which her (big bressesses)
total mastery of the household arts shows - as well as the most MASCULINE, with
her total willingness to wade into the thick of battle and mix it up, and
held that spot until Haruka came along (who, I might add, Makochan admired,
even adopting her scarf for a few episodes in emulation).
And consider Haruka's color scheme... Blue and Yellow. Which MAKE green.
Jem and the Holograms
(Pizzazz)
Phyllis Gabor was the main rival of Jem. In contrast to Jem's saccharine
sweetness and general helplessness, Pizzazz was a strong female - in my
opinion a MUCH better role-model for kids than Jem EVER was. Where Jem
would pine away and wait for rescue from either Synergy, Rio, or whomever;
Pizzazz would ACT. Where Jem was a TRIPLE two-timer (Jem/Rio/Jerrica -and-
Jem/Rio/Riot), Pizzazz was a loyal monogamyst; focusing on ONE love interest
at a time. Pizzazz refused to accept anything getting in her way. And no
matter how many times Jem eked her out, she kept at it with a determination
to succeed that was nearly all-consuming. Determination, Loyalty, Self-Reliance,
Persistance despite repeated failure... Rather than acknowledge her positive
qualities, they played up on the show her being 'a spoiled brat' just because
she was rich. THAT's what makes her interesting... She's not IN show biz
for the MONEY, shes in it for the FAME. Why? Well, it seems Phyllis was
a neglected kid - her mom running off, and her dad some big mogul that
never had time for her. That's IT. All she wants to do is have people KNOW
her, RESPECT her, even LOVE her... She desperately seeks validation, and
here comes Jem to thwart her at every turn for no reason besides she doesn't
LIKE Pizzazz... Yet JEM is the GOOD GIRL? (see also:
Jem is the Devil)
Jem and the Holograms
(Hey, this IS a Jem site, remember?)
(Clash)
Hands down, Clash is my favorite character. Most fans mark out for
Stormer as the 'good little bad girl', but to me she's just too damn wishy-washy
to be interesting. CLASH on the other hand is adroit at a dizzying array
of skills, and she seems to be the only one unaware of it. A skilled mimic
and actress, as well as resourceful and able to think on her feet, Clash
belongs in front of the camera. Yet all that talent wastes away as she
- hoping to be accepted by her 'heroes' the Misfits - steps and fetches.
There's the tragedy, folks, all she wants to be is accepted by her heroes
- but she puts herself in a position that CANNOT garner it, no matter what.
From Pizzazz's perspective, I figure it's pretty tough to accept someone
that kisses your ass as an equal, so you can't really blame her. Clash's
OTHER big motivation is a rivalry with her cousin Vivian, who always seems
to outshine her - God knows how, since all VIV can do is point a frickin'
CAMERA - must be that Good Always Wins crap they like to shove down the
throats of impressionable kids. I figure the idea behind that is that they'll
be nice and stupid a little longer... Er, I mean INNOCENT... Heh.
People generally believe her minidress is black with red/blue spangles, as it's that
color in the show, but the actual color of it on the doll is a dark green. Not that it
matters THAT much, since she's usually got the green faux fur jacket going on...
Other examples abound, of course, but I don't want this to get too long...
Show's Over!